Anniversaries

How many anniversaries do you have?  I bet you have more than you think.  The most popular is wedding, I have one of those each year.  Then there are birthdays, people or pet deaths, significant events, and probably others that you might mark on your calendar.  My wife keeps a very detailed family calendar that hangs in a prominent place in our kitchen area.  On it you will find small notes all through the year such as… how many years since some loved one died, updated each year, how many years since the tree was blown on our house by the storm, how long we have worked at our present jobs, and others that are fun to track.

The latest anniversary is today, June 17th, one year since I had cancer surgery.  For those of you who did not read this blog one year ago, I had esophageal cancer surgery involving two incisions of 13.5 inches, which took 80 staples to close up.  I spent 11 days in the hospital in recovery and many months before life was close to normal again.  It was frightful and dramatic but I am so thankful for this anniversary because it took my cancer away.

So what do I think about all this one year later.  This week I am here for our church VBS.  Last year was the first VBS I missed as a Pastor in probably 25+ years.  VBS is a tiring week but I am so glad to be here and healthy.  One year ago I thought that I might not be on earth for the next VBS, I would enjoy it from Heaven. 

I really imagined that  by now I would begin to forget about the surgery but it seems my body likes to remind me.  One result of surgery is I lost maybe 1/3rd of my stomach, so each day as I eat breakfast, mid morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, dessert, always trying to keep my calories and protein up, it reminds me that I had surgery a year ago.  Sometimes people will walk up to me and I am rubbing my stomach or appear to be holding it.  Often they say, “are you sick or hurting?”  I then realize that almost unconsciously I rub the area of my scar because it feels funny or uncomfortable.  Don’t get me wrong, I can do almost anything but I know right where I was cut in both places.  At first I was frustrated that I kept feeling these things.  I thought, “it has been almost a year, I shouldn’t feel this anymore”.  Now I have decided to use this as a time to thank God for the miracle of skilled surgeons and healing that took place without infection or complication every time I have feel a reminder.

So I marked the anniversary today by taking a walk on the beach with my precious bride (33 anniversaries and counting), eating a banana and cinnamon/raisin bagels.  No candles or songs but a quiet confidence that my days are numbered (Psalm 139:16) and God knows how many more anniversaries I will celebrate on this side of eternity.

Family Reunions

Remember word association tests from psychology… when I say “dog” you say    , when I say “red” you say     …  I say “family reunion”, you say…

I can imagine there are many responses out there.  For me the idea of a reunion is not bad.  Most of my experiences have been very good so this past weekend I traveled 610 miles to attend a family reunion.  My aunt Betty, sister of my Dad, was having her 80th birthday and we surprised her with a party and reunion all rolled into one.  It was fantastic!

I loved the premise of the whole thing, a surprise.  You know how many surprise parties don’t work, someone spills the beans or the one being honored just finds out through pure luck.  Not this time.  Aunt Betty walks in for lunch with my other aunt and then is offered the chance to see a newly remodeled room.  Inside this room are 25 people all in matching t-shirts made for the occasion.  The look on her face was worth the whole trip for me.  Total shock and wonder (we did have medical relatives on alert and 911 speed dials ready to go).  Then each person files by and gives her the hug of honor that she so deserves.

The reunion happened at my Aunt Libby’s and Uncle Melvin’s house.  They just built the “retirement” home of their dreams.  The house is built for having people over and feeding them (almost two kitchens).  The back yard is a like a great city park.  It has a huge deck, beautiful scenery, a play-set for children, a fantastic tree house, and a 15 to 20 foot high platform area where a 110 foot zip line is launched from.  Virtually every member of the family did the zip line.  It was equipped with a seat so even my 67 year old Aunt went down, as did Amy and I (99 years combined).  NO, we did not get Aunt Betty on it but we tried. 

Why are reunions important?  We need to stay connected in a world that is barely holding together emotionally.  There are awkward moments.  Someone suggested we should have had name tags, which at times would have helped.  For a good portion of the event I thought a young couple was married, then figured out they were brother/sister.  But you work through that and “catch up” with lost years.  My Dad had 4 sisters and one brother.  The two aunts are all that live today.  Yet we talked a great deal about the ones who are not here anymore.  There were so many precious moments as Aunt Betty said her words of thanks for everyone coming.  Her talk was on “the best days” of my life.  This was certainly one of the best days.  She deserved all the honor we gave her.  She reminds me so much of my Dad .  She is a very strong woman that loves and cares in very quiet ways.

So, a big thank you to all of my family who made great effort to be there.  There was so much emotion packed into the weekend.  Most of us got to attend church together on Sunday morning and that reminded me to pray regularly for each family and person there.  I hope we can find a way to do this again and keep the family connection going.

Blogging Again

It is very sad to me that I have neglected this page for so long.  I can’t really explain how it happened but something distracted me from writing any new thoughts for so many months.  I will try to understand it by writing now.

For so long everything was about the cancer.  I feel everyone who reads this needs to know that Amy and I are doing great.  We are fully recovered and feel healthier every day.  We are healed according to Doctors and just get regular check ups to be sure nothing new is occurring.

Now I have a life without cancer but I(we) will always be cancer survivors.  You don’t go through it with out certain emotions and psychology that remain probably for the rest of this natural life.  I want my life to be about more than cancer and over the past few months it has been.

We have grandson #2 due in a few weeks, our first grandson just celebrated birthday #3.  Our children are such a blessing and keep us interested in all that is happening in their lives.   Our church has been growing in more ways than “numbers and nickels”.  There are a growing number who seem to get the fact that loving Jesus and hating sin are two principles that represent a balanced and truly Christian life.  Mark Cahill’s visit along with a real wildfire, that could have consumed our church, have instead sparked(pun) a real revival in our midst.  I am reading several books, which can be frustrating, but also such a blessing.  The books are: The Promise by Robert Morgan, Crazy Love by Francis Chan and Sticky Church by Larry Osborne.  Each of them challenge me in new ways to love God and people.  I want more than anything to be consumed by the real things, not the stuff.

Facebook could be a reason for no blogging.  I have put some ideas on there that God has taught me but they are very small and quickly added.

All this is just a way to get me back at the keyboard and putting some thoughts down that maybe will interest someone.  So please check every now and then and I promise to write more regularly.  Each of you who see me may ask and hold me accountable.

Jesus I just want to Thank You

There is a precious chorus that I have sung for years that continues with that line 3x and then you add, “thank you for being so good”.  As I approach our first Thanksgiving and Christmas since cancer I have been overwhelmed with Thankfulness.  It has been hitting me in waves like I was sitting at the beach.

The older I get and the more I know and understand the Lord, the more I realize how undeserving I am of all my blessings.  I could have 3 blessings to count this year and that would be 3 more than I deserve.  The truth that is beyond comprehension is I can not number the blessings I am enjoying, there are so many!

I stopped writing for a moment and tried to number my complaints, my grumblings, my unthankfulness.  It is a ridiculous exercise.  The analogy I used earlier about the beach comes to mind.  Imagine you are at the beach and you are building sandcastles of complaints.  Then a wave of thankfulness washes in and wipes it out.  Then I build another castle, another wave and on and on… That is exactly what happens in my mind.  As I try to number my complaints I start laughing thinking how insignificant they are compared to my blessings.

Why are my blessings beyond number?  Because God is the creator of Thanksgiving.  God, by His very existence compels all creatures to Thankfulness.  He so full of Grace and Mercy that when one considers Him even for a moment, thankfulness bursts forth.  Do you see that I can not impress God or anyone else by being a “thankful person” because with out Him it would not be possible.

Tomorrow I want each of us to prepare a Thanksgiving meal for God.  We get the recipe in Psalm 50:14, “Spread for ME a banquet of Thanksgiving, include obedience to promises made to ME”.  It is ok after you have served the Lord to then partake of the food we enjoy and say thank you for each bite.

Who should be President?

Every 4 years I go through agony.  I wish politics did not matter to me.  I should be a complete cynic like a growing number of Americans when it comes to the subject.  We now have politicians but no statesmen (or only a few).  It seems everyone now compromises their principles for something – money, influence, votes.  We have so many things that are a mess and no one in government with the fortitude to fix them.  I should just not vote, gets lots of sleep on election night, not read any news and ignore the whole process…. BUT I CAN’T!

I am a Christian.  Christ in me compells me to care and to stand for righteousness.  Abortion is the one issue that keeps me involved more than anything else.  Now other bedrock issues are here.  Marriage!  Who would have thought in America we would have to define marriage. The War.  We are in a war.  There is an organized force in the world who wants to end our republic and replace it with Islamic rule.  Freedom.  Again, it is hard to believe this is in America but freedom to express Christian beliefs are under attack.  Christmas replaced with Holidays, 10 commandments can not be in public, speaking on moral issues such as homosexuality may soon be prohibited even in your church, from your pulpit.  Immigration.  Citizenship should be a purposeful process for anyone who wants to become a voting citizen of this republic.  Taxes.  Spending has its limits and taxes should be reasonable.  They are growing to the point that we will soon be socialists and all have just a little money.  There are surely more but my top issues are reflected

Who we choose as President and put in the Congress will decide what direction we go in these areas.  I have found one political party that believes mostly the way I do.  They have failed miserably the last few years in several of these areas.  But the other political party is heading totally opposite in all these areas.  As I write this the party that I want appears to be losing in the polls.  That concerns me and may keep me up at night and especially the night of the election.  What am I to do?

Pray.  God has made it crystal clear in His Word that He controls all goverments and leaders.  He places them at times and seasons for His Good Pleasure.  God is sovereign but I am responsible.  So I will vote and pray and speak my convictions… and I will sleep at night because God is in charge and never sleeps.

God Made the Moon!

I am so sorry about the Blog and my lack of participation.  Today I change that.

A couple of weeks ago my daughter and grandson, Tobin came down for a visit.  The time to see him started with a BANG!  Amy and I left about 7:30am to pick them up at Orlando Airport.  Traveling 73 mph on I-95 just south of Palm Bay I heard a very loud noise like a bang, followed by a roaring sound.  Yes, for the first time I ever remember I had a “blow out” of a tire.  I have had flat tires that went down slowly but this was a major blow, a hole in the side wall of your tire.  God is thanked for safety as we slowly pulled over, never losing control.  We got the tire changed and had to buy a new one in Palm Bay so we now will be one hour late picking up our precious cargo.  We then went to Green Meadows Farm and had an awesome time with my grandson milking his first cow!

The rest of the visit was filled with wonderful times and memories but lets skip quickly to the return trip.  We rented a U-Haul trailer to give my daughter and son-in-law some furniture.  This means a very long, slow trip from Vero to Raleigh/Durham, NC.  12 hours in the car with my grandson.  He is an awesome traveler at 2 years, 4 months old.  Now pay comes the “God Made the Moon” part.

It is about 7:30pm, we are 40 minutes from home and Tobin is getting tired of all of us(really the car).  Amy moves into distraction mode and points to a very crescent moon and Tobin enjoys looking at it.  He said, “Is the moon broken”?  We laughed and Amy says a little rhyme that has been in our family since the children were little.  “I see the moon and the moon sees me, God made the moon and God made me”.  She repeated it several times in clever ways and Tobin responded with laughter then he started… Tobin: God made the moon?  Amy: Yes, God made the moon.  Tobin: God made animals?  Amy: yes, God made animals.  This started a long (maybe 3 minutes) of God made horses, cows, trucks, road, etc.  Tobin asked about everything.  Then there was this little pause in the action and Tobin said,

Did God make God?

We all sat there stunned and said, Yes, Tobin, that is right!  From the mouths of Babes…

Summer ‘08 Over… let’s take a deep breath!

The Walsh summer of ‘08 will forever linger in our memories.  Cancer was the theme but there were so many good memories, it was not all bad.  We got to spend extra time with family and focus on the stuff that really matters because we were reminded how precious each day is.  Amy and I got a fresh confirmation of how important the body of Christ is and particularly how wonderful our little part of the body, King’s Baptist.  I won’t deny that we rejoiced at the words, “we got all the cancer”!  Being cancer free has made both of us so prayerful for those who have not received that word and must battle on.  God is more real than ever.  All that we have ever learned about Him is true and even more.  We are ready now to move forward building His Kingdom so everyone can know Him and find the strength to face the challenges of life.

I need to give you an update on both of us.  I am 175 pounds.  I weighed 168 when Amy and I married.  I need to tone up the muscles but staying at 180 or below will be very good for my whole system.  I feel good most of the time and I am able to eat full meals now.  I have enough stamina to work full time.  Amy got a great report from her Dr. last week.  She is able to move around normally (she came to church for the first time Sunday) and has freedom to do most things except drive, that comes in two more weeks.  We are both monitored by our Drs. and neither of us face any further treatment.

God is good…

The SHACK

For those of you who do not know The Shack is a small paperback book that has an amazing story.  It was a story written by a Father for his children.  Two friends read it, formed a small publishing company and printed it with a $300 marketing budget, yes I said $300!  The book has now sold over a million copies, a larger publisher has bought the rights and it will now be really big.  A movie of it could be in the future.

I came to know about The Shack through my sister first, then our Administrative Assistant at church ordered the book.  The church ordered a copy for use in our Library and it came just in time for me to take the book to Tampa during Amy’s surgery.  Lots of reading time!

It was amazing that right after I started reading it I learned about the controversy surrounding it.  I was hearing from people on both sides of the issue, “I love the Book!” or “The book has serious theological flaws”.  So, I read it without reading anyone’s opinion so I could be objective.

I loved reading it.  The story was captivating and then of course tragic beyond words.  It grabbed my emotions in a significant way.  I was fascinated by the creativity of the main character’s encounter with God using the whole Godhead (Trinity).  I love to read how people try to deal with our really tough question of evil.  The author takes it head on and trys to answer it.

I can understand where people had questions.  The opening controversy in the book is probably God appearing as a woman!  I find people don’t even give time for God to explain why HE decided to appear as a woman, which HE does in the book.  You simply will do better with The Shack if you will not press it to high Theological standards, and read it for fiction that communicates some very positvie things about faith.  The following are some I saw in the book.

Religion versus relationship.  Knowing Jesus and being a Christian is not a religion but a relationship.  This is the main theme of the whole book.  Forgiveness is essential and possible, even for someone who murders your own family or who mistreated you severely.  Heaven will be more glorious than we can imagine and its reality should help us as we deal with tragedy.  The book will reach Lost people, by this I mean particularly people who have been disenchanted with the church or Christians.  The main character had some bad experiences with “so called Christians” and God shows him the way back to “true relationship with God”.  It will reach lost people but we may have to explain some things correctly when we disciple them.  It is a great discussion starter for talking with a person about Jesus.  The Trinity is portrayed in a way that reminds us that God believes in relationships.  He has been in relationship with Himself (the Godhead) for all eternity.

So my conclusion… just read the book and you won’t lose your faith, you will have some questions for the author about “why did you include that”?, you will be deeply and emotionally drawn into the depth of human tragedy and that God is always ready to meet us at our deepest need.

I will respond to your comments in my next blog.

One more fact I learned recently.  Lifeway publishers (SBC) initially sold the book, then pulled it for examination, then returned it to stores and now sells it with a note that says, “read with discernment”.

There’s No Place Like Home

As a child, I watched the Wizard of Oz every year with my family for probably 12 years in a row.  It was a major family tradition.  There are many parts that rank as favorite but Dorothy’s love for home made me cry every time.  When she finally got home she was so happy.

Amy and I got home yesterday and it was almost tears.  She was loving it more than me because of being the patient.  We are happy to be home.

So, what were the last 7 days like?  I felt like I had entered “mirror world”.  It was a world where everything is reversed.  It was me waiting for word on Amy’s surgery instead of Amy waiting.  It was me visiting the patient and hearing what I must have sounded like as she said, that hurts, please close the blinds, don’t be too loud, call the nurse, etc… wow, it was so wierd.  It was me helping my wife.  Amy kept saying I hate to ask you and I said, Do you know how far behind I am in service to you?  I will never catch up.

I used humor to help us all through the experience.  At one point when we had waited so long for word on Amy, one of my daughters was crying.  I said, Did you cry during my surgery?  She didn’t laugh she just wanted to hit me but I reminded her I had wounds everywhere!!  It was great having all the family there, even my son this time.  He is quite the comedian.  At one point he wrote on Amy’s white board.  This board has the date and then says your nurse today is “Lori”, your tech is “Marina”, and my son added, our attorney is my Sister!  The nurses got a kick out of it and all said they would be especially careful.

The day of surgery was the longest day of my life.  I left Amy at 7:30 am as they prepared to roll her back to surgery.  I found out surgery did not start till 9am but then it did not end until 11:30pm that night.  There are so many emotions one goes through in a day like that.  Mostly for us it was, “What could possibly be taking this long?”  In the end it all worked out very well because Amy is healthy and should be that way for long time.

Everyone is so kind to ask about Amy and then say, “and how are you doing?”  I believe God has shown His kindness through all of this by having me almost normal just in time to start taking care of Amy.  I feel great and just want to say how much I love God and am thankful for the wonderful Christian family that has stood with us through all of the summer. 

I am reading “The Shack” right now and you can be sure that my next blog will be about this most intriguing book.

Wow, What a Testimony!

This is my blog and my wife does not want my blog to be about her.  Today she enters my blog because what happens to her affects me.  So I will share this story with you from my perspective but I am sure you will want to talk with Amy sometime about her feelings.

Monday, June 23rd was post operation day 6 for me.  Amy gets a call on her cell phone in Tampa from her radiologist saying, we did your mamogram about 10 days ago and we would like to repeat it because we see something suspicious.  Well, we both look at each other and think, isn’t that interesting.  On Thursday, June 26th she traveled back to Vero and repeated the Mamogram.  The next day we come home from Moffitt.  They call us and say, yes there is a spot and we want to do a biopsy.  On July 3rd at 7:30pm we spoke with Amy’s Dr. and found out the spot was malignant.  So, on May 6th my cancer was confirmed and July 3rd Amy’s.  Please check this out and see if we set some kind of record!

We decided to work with Moffitt Cancer Center again.  This past Monday, July 21st we met with an oncologist.  Amy’s cancer is early stage, a small tumor and the prognosis for long term health is very good.  Treatment options require surgery and we will be meeting with Drs. over the next two weeks before a final decision is made.  Please pray with us for wisdom.

The book I have been reading through my recovery has been “A Bend in the Road” by David Jeremiah.  The subtitle is “experiencing God when your world caves in”.  Dr. Jeremiah has always been a favorite for Amy and I to listen to on Christian radio.  His insights are rich.  He wrote the book because in 1994 he was diagnosed with lymphoma cancer.  He had some success in the battle and then the cancer came back in 1998 and in 1999 he was again declared cancer free.  He went through surgery, chemo therapy and stem cell transplants.  “Disruptive moments” is the phrase Dr. Jeremiah uses for thorns in the flesh, cancer, sudden death and other life altering events.  Some things he has found true about disruptive moments: They make us cry out to our Heavenly Father, we are not spared from them as Christians, God gives His full attention to us as we go through them, and certainly God’s goal through all of life is to make us Holy.  One theologian said, we learn more through pain than any other way.  From my own personal experience I would have to say Amen to all of the above.

I feel like you have already heard this from me but it is worth repeating.  Our faith, placed in the God who is revealed in our Scripture, does not allow for things to get out of control.  God started our universe exactly the way He chose and is guiding its course perfectly into eternity.  Nothing surprises Him nor catches Him off guard.  So with that kind of assurance all I need right now is found in Him.  I am taking every step I can to draw closer to Him.  He has the Holy Spirit inside of me drawing me to Him.  I am human and there are moments of craziness but in the big picture, I am quite confident that God is able to guide me through this time of “disruptive moments”.

The title of this blog comes from a story I have been telling to everyone I know.  A few weeks ago our daughter Ashley met with a dear friend she has known since college.  Ashley had previously shared about me and my battle with cancer and this visit she added, “my mom now has cancer too!”  The first words that came from this young woman’s mouth were, “Wow, one day your parents are going to have an awesome testimony”.  Those words strengthened the faith of my daughter, Amy and me. 

How are we doing?  We are believing God and looking forward to testifiying about His greatness!

Al